Still Waters

Oh how I desire intimacy with the Lord. That is the cry of my momma heart right now. My life lately has been a bit like a whirlwind, and I yearn for it to be like still waters. Still glassy waters reacting to thrown stones with nothing more than a ripple. Not like the hurricanes I’m prone to. How do I get back there?

I wake in the mornings around 6:15am to spend time with my Lord, but the whole morning is often spent up and down, tending to the cries of small children for more snack, help with potty, a different toy from the playroom…of no fault of their own. They are trying to be obedient, they are quiet, they are staying in their rooms for “quiet time”, but for other mothers of small children, I’m sure you have experienced…quiet time is never so quiet even for the most obedient ones. They are just children, and they are still constantly in need. Even right now, my eldest is at kindergarten, and my youngest is napping. The picture painted in your head is me probably quietly sipping my coffee with a quiet room and quiet mind…yet my youngest is singing loudly in her room, chattering coming in clear on the monitor beside me and the cat is on my lap practically licking my brains clear out of my head. What is a momma to do to get stillness these days?? The elusive stillness…oh how I yearn for you.

It’s just a season I tell my self…as I’ve been telling myself for the past 5 years.

Intimacy with the Lord, is so needed right now, but so hard to find at the same time. It wasn’t until I switched Pandora from the Disney playlist to the Christian Kids praise songs the other day while I was doing dishes and they were playing that I realized…we have to arm ourselves. We have to fill ourselves with whatever praise we can in whatever moments we can to just abide, no matter how disjointed we may feel. How Great is Our God came on, and I’m there getting my moment of peace while doing the dishes, fully wrapped up in his love even just for one song. The more we make small decisions to change the music, or switch a kid’s show to Veggitales, or a Netflix series to the Chosen…or even turn it all off and go outside to tend to the quiet garden and talk to God while they go on the swings. All these small decisions wrapped up equal a big decision to abide in him, connect ourselves to the one true life-giving vine.

As interrupted as they might be, those morning times are still so important…even if I can’t seem to finish a sentence in my prayers, I’m at least starting the conversation for the day. I’m initiating a dance move to start an all out waltz with my savior from morning until dawn. All it takes is coming across one word from one verse out of our bible reading and prayers to strike a chord. We can’t put so much pressure on ourselves to become theologians at this point in our lives. Maybe one day when we are retired and looking for things to fill the abundance of stillness we have been granted…but that is not today.

No matter if it’s just one word or twenty words…

“The grass withers, the flower fades, but the word of our God will stand forever.” Isaiah 40:8